Decide to treat all your neighbors with consideration and respect. Be a resident ‘ambassadors’ to help welcome newcomers as they transition into the community.
Aspire to live by the Golden Rule.
Today we often read about cyber bullies among young people, but bullying also plagues seniors. The behavior being referenced would be incidents of name-calling, bossy behavior, loud arguments, snubs and aggression.
Causes and strategies
Fear can be one reason for bullying, says Renee Garfinkel, a Washington, D.C.-based psychologist who specializes in aging issues, but it’s also “that human phenomenon of the strong picking on the weak. It’s not a function of aging. It’s a function of pathology.”
There’s also a tendency for people to become more and more uniquely themselves as they age, she says. “Chances are, if you were kind of a nasty, selfish person throughout your adulthood, you’re probably not going to be the benign grandma type when you’re old,” she says.
How do you stop a senior bully in their tracks? The best way to prevent it is intervention.
Third party bystanders are part of the problem. If people see this, they should get involved. Go to the staff. Speak up the same way you would if you saw it at a bus stop. Sometimes, people aren’t sure what to do because the bully might be impaired.
However, keep in mind that just because people are cranky, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a bully. People often have painful conditions that wear them out and make them uncomfortable all the time. A backache or toothache doesn’t promote the milk of human kindness.
The antidote for bullying is to encourage a community culture that promotes self respect and a friendly welcoming atmosphere. Following are some ideas anyone can implement.
Start with a check up from the neck up. Make an assessment of your own attitude toward others.
Make every effort to understand. As we get older we often lose so much of the independence we all worked so hard to get. In response we often try to control our environment as way of containing some stability when life is forcing unwelcome changes.
Be intentional about respecting yourself and others. Respect usually takes four major forms, all of which are important: respect for self, respect for others, respect for all forms of life and the environment that sustains them, and respect for principles and truths.
Decide to treat all your neighbors with consideration and respect. Be a resident ‘ambassadors’ to help welcome newcomers as they transition into the community.
Aspire to live by the Golden Rule. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Marion Lorence
Glendale Place, Resident Manager
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